talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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