she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize