I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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