We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize