think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
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He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think your dad took our porno
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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