She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
