soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
