i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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