What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
