Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.

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(716): View more from New York

as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.

(1-716): View more from New York

momma always taught us never to change for a boy..

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(720): View more from Colorado

She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"

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(519): View more from Ontario

I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.

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(813): View more from Florida

See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......

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