you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
