sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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