I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
