I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
