So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
