what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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