you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just high enough for therapy.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Pants are for mortals
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
