I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You took a bar mat shot.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
