i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
