the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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