it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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