My first STD was from a foam party
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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