I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize