you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
