Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
