It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
