is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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