No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
