Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
