Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
