alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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