so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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