don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
