I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
