When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
