last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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