I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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