K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
