barbara walters just said penis...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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