That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
