Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
