It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
