I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
