WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We were destined to go to rehab together
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
