I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
