So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
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Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
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You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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