I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think a kid would responsible me up
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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