Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
