my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I had to cum in my sink.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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