I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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