I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
