so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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