I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
