I will die if light touches me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
did i just pee glitter
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize