How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
