You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
