Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
