So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
