This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
