Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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